We Have News!

I am bursting at the seams to finally announce our good news!  We are adding to our family – and not in a way that we ever expected!  I’ve told parts of our story here before…we experienced years of infertility and a miscarriage before our son was born, and then after he was born, we were faced with the same issues.  We went through another couple of years of infertility, treatments, and another miscarriage.  August of last year was a turning point for us (more on that below), and we realized we felt called to adopt!  We were quite far along in the adoption process, and had prepared our hearts for welcoming a new baby into our family through domestic adoption.

Then, in February we received the surprise of our lives and found out that I am pregnant!  We had honestly written this off as a possibility.  One thing I absolutely cannot deny is that God writes our stories.  Even through hardship and confusion and waiting, He has undeniably blessed (and surprised!) us, and we are so thankful!

Here’s the full story and some background on our years of infertility and how we came to the decision to adopt, and what our “plans” for the future are…I’m sorry it’s so long!

When we had been married for almost 4 years in 2009, we found out that it would be difficult for me to get pregnant.  We tried all of the basics for a year and a half, including Clomid and seeing a fertility doctor for testing.  Fast forward to late 2011, and I had a miscarriage.  Following that, we saw the fertility specialist again, and he told us to wait a little while to give my body time to heal and reset.  Soon after we got pregnant with Davis! I went on progesterone to prevent another miscarriage, and I was considered high risk for the first trimester.  Davis was born at 40 weeks, in December 2012, and was perfectly healthy, praise the Lord!  He was certainly a miracle, and we could not have been more thankful!

A year after he was born, we went back to the fertility doctor, since I hadn’t gotten pregnant on my own.  I have an uncommon form of PCOS, plus I rarely ovulate, plus my body typically doesn’t make enough progesterone to provide a habitable environment for a baby – why I have miscarried.  We began treatments to combat all of that.  It started with one or two drugs, lots of bloodwork and ultrasounds, and ovulation induction.  Plus the progesterone if needed.  That didn’t work, so we moved on to IUI.  I miscarried on the second one, and the others were unsuccessful.  Having 2 miscarriages, even though I was not very far along, was devastating.  All in all, we did 4 rounds of IUI, with one 6 month gap in between the 3rd and 4th.  It involved more drugs, including giving myself a lot of shots (nothing like IVF, though), and plenty of emotions and stress.  We found out that I was not pregnant, on our last chance at IUI, on Todd’s 31st birthday.  Infertility timing can be brutal.

After 4 rounds of IUI, we had to decide if we wanted to move forward with IVF.  Well, Todd and I have always discussed adoption – even while we were dating.  In August of last year, we knew we had a decision to make between IVF and adoption.  We met with our doctor and his nursing team, and we also began gathering more info about adoption.  We prayed about it, and talked about it for weeks.  One thing that I could not get out of my mind was that we had already been blessed with a biological son, who is the most amazing gift!  If I had never had a successful pregnancy, I think our decision could’ve been much different.  As a woman, the desire to carry a child is deep, but I had already been given that opportunity.  We came to the mutual decision in September that we felt called to adopt!

Please do not misunderstand me, though.  I have nothing against IVF at all.  I think the couples who choose to go that route are extremely brave and patient.  The desire to be parents is a strong force, and after having Davis, Todd and I said that if we had to go back, we would do anything to be able to have him again. 

In October, we chose an adoption agency, and began to move forward in the process.  Our paperwork was finally completed and approved this past January, and we were set to begin the home study in February.  We were overjoyed with excitement and terrified all at the same time!

Then things changed!  I found out on Valentine’s Day that I am pregnant!  I was quite late (normal for me), but I found a pregnancy test stashed in the back of my closet.  I didn’t even tell Todd I was taking a test!  It was immediately positive, and I about passed out!  This is the 4th time I’ve been pregnant, but the only time that we got pregnant completely on our own.  We weren’t “trying,” or thinking about it, and we were not praying for this.  We were focused on adoption, and praying for that baby who we thought would be joining our family.  I am still in shock that this happened!  It is a huge mix of emotions, because I don’t know if we will adopt in the future.  We are keeping the possibility open, but we don’t want to rush into any concrete decisions. And I automatically felt guilty that I am pregnant, but so many others I know haven’t had their chance yet.  It can be a very dark place, and I know how hard it is to hear that someone else gets to be pregnant when you don’t.

Infertility has greatly affected our marriage, but we are in awe of how the Lord has worked through it in our lives.  We have had our highs and our lows, and our lowest lows have come as a result of infertility taking its strain on us.  But we are coming up on our 10th wedding anniversary, and we have a huge list of reasons to praise God!  He has blessed our lives more than we could have ever anticipated, even through the hard times, and we are grateful.  The more I’ve experienced, the more I can clearly see that He writes our stories. He allowed me to have another chance to carry a child, and I am overjoyed!

Here is a quick pregnancy update: I will be 13 weeks tomorrow!  I had one scare, but thankfully everything is okay so far.  I have felt really rough, which is why my blog has been so neglected.  But, that is starting to ease off – I think.  My due date is mid-October, and we told Davis the news on Easter!

Thank you all for the support I’ve received in the past when I’ve opened up about our miscarriages and struggle with infertility.  It is greatly appreciated.  Some of the greatest help while I was trying to get pregnant, was reading others’ blog posts about their similar struggles.  If you are having a hard time conceiving, please feel free to reach out to me!

I asked my cousin, Allie, to take some photos of us while we are at the beach last weekend. She has a budding photography business!  I love how these turned out!  She was a trooper because it was early in the morning, it was quite cold, I was picky, and Davis was not exactly the easiest to photograph. 😉  But she did an amazing job.  Thank you, Allie!! (FYI, these are not edited.  I think she captured the light so well!).