I am currently helping Dr. Ana Maria Temple write a book about helping heal children’s eczema! I’m so honored to be helping her with the food side of the process. As we write the book, we are each writing blog posts to cover different applicable subjects. Today I am covering the topic of picky eaters!
“But my child is so picky!” That is the number one objection we’ve heard to changing a family’s eating plan. Healing eczema and other inflammatory issues involves diet changes, and we understand the giant roadblock that is picky eaters. Cleaning up a child’s diet is a vital step in improving his or her gut health. This blog post will offer some help if your child is a picky eater.
I feel like I should preface this post by saying that no two children are alike, and not everyone will like the same things. Kids have sensitive taste buds, and we cannot expect for them to like every single food that adults like. The goal of this post is to simply offer tips on how to expand our picky eaters’ diets, but I do understand that it is difficult! I hope you feel encouraged after reading this.
Semi-Tough Love
My intention is not to be judgmental in any way. I get it. I’m a very busy mom, and I know dinner time can often be HARD. Plus, toddlers have a mind of their own! Please keep in mind that this is a process, and will not be something that can be solved overnight. Just as we have to train our children on how to sleep, walk, talk, sit still at the table, share their toys, stop hitting their siblings, and so on, we have to teach them how to eat!
Mamas and daddies, it’s time to make a change! We have the immense privilege to raise these sweet kids of ours, and we also have the responsibility to keep them healthy. And food is foundational to health!
As parents, we get to be in charge of the kitchen, the grocery purchases, and what goes on our kids’ plates. We control which cereal we buy, how often we re-stock those sugary yogurt squeeze packs, and we make the conscious choice to stop at the fast food drive thru.
I have a feeling I’m hitting some nerves here, but stick with me.
Picky eating often begins early in our kids’ lives. What we feed our little ones will impact how they eat as they grow. But take heart, because we can ALWAYS improve our eating habits! Whether we are 2 years old, 22 years old, or 72 years old, we can learn to love new foods and incorporate more beneficial veggies into our diets.
little Ridge 🙂
I am not encouraging a perfectionist mentality when it comes to food and feeding our kids! Balance is key, and overly stressing about it is not helpful either. But we do have to make some extra effort to make sure our children are getting the nutrition that they need. Each week we have 21 meals (not including snacks) to feed our families. That is 21 opportunities to fill their young bodies with nutrients!
Tip #1: We have to be the example.
Monkey see, monkey do. We cannot expect our children to eat their veggies if they never see the grown-ups doing the same. Sometimes this means giving up a beloved snack, and clearing the pantry of our favorite cereal or Doritos. We can’t expect to eat junk food, and then turn around and tell our kids not to eat it.
The best bonus of all of this, is that often if a parent changes his or her diet, he or she will feel better as well! One of our families in the eczema course are a wonderful example of this! The dad felt so much better, his allergies improved, and they were so happy that they approached the health change as a family!
Tip #2: Family Meals + No Substitutions
Sitting down together as a family to eat can make a world of difference! Dr. Temple has spoken about the benefits of this before, and I completely agree with her. Gathering around the dinner table promotes bonding, conversation, and it allows everyone to eat the same meal. If younger kids see their parents and older siblings eating broccoli and sweet potatoes, they are more inclined to try those veggies as they get older.
In that same vein, do not offer substitutions at dinner. You do not have to make a meal that you just know your children will hate, and expect them to eat it. But if you always make a completely separate meal for your picky eater, they’ll never not be picky. They will learn that it is perfectly acceptable in your house to have different food. I do make an effort to marry foods my kids like with healthy things, and serve meals around those rules for dinners. I present the food to them, and it is their choice if they want to fill up or not.
Tip # 3: One bite rule
We do have a one bite rule in our house. This means that if we are introducing a food that they’ve never tried before, or one that we want them to try again, we make our kids take one bite of it. If they decide they like it, super! But if they do not like it that night, we do not make them eat any more. If they only choose one bite, we will present it to them another time in the future. We do not give up simply because they tell us one time that they do not like it.
Tip # 4: Focus on the fruits and vegetables that they do like, and gradually add in new ones
My boys will eat broccoli with no complaints, so that is a vegetable I serve often. My oldest likes it raw or steamed, and my middle will eat it those ways or roasted. When I make roasted broccoli as a side dish, I leave some raw for my oldest, because, hey, at least he is still eating broccoli! They will also both eat carrots, cucumber, spinach, kale, potatoes and sweet potatoes, but they do not like zucchini! So I rarely make zucchini for them. I ask them to try it again on occasion, but I do not force it.
The more we present foods to our kids, the more they will get used to them, so it is vital that we keep trying.
Tip # 5: Less mindless snacking!
Okay, this one is controversial. But one of the key ways to help your kids eat meals better is to stop giving them snacks. Too many snacks means they will not want to eat dinner, and that fight is just not worth it. It will not help if your kids graze on snacks all day long, and not receive any nutrition through their meals.
This might not be an immediate fix, but eventually your kids can learn to stop snacking so much and eat at meal time instead. If they are hungry, they’ll eat!
My husband and I often have to remind the boys that the kitchen is not always open. After meal time, it closes, and then opens back up for the next meal. We’ve even had friends who lock their pantry doors so that their kids stop sneaking snacks all day. I get it – they are addictive. I love to snack, too! But our kids can learn discipline at a young age. If we let them fill up on chips and sweets all day, then of course they are not going to want their dinner.
Do we give our kids snacks? Yes, sometimes! If they’ve been outside playing, or we are eating dinner late, of course we allow a snack. But if they don’t eat any of their breakfast or lunch that we offer, we do not allow snacks.
Tip # 6: Find healthier alternatives to foods they love
Here are some examples:
- homemade chicken tenders – make a bunch and freeze
- buy frozen, organic chicken nuggets if homemade isn’t your jam
- for sandwiches, buy organic bread, or gluten free
- Simple Kneads or Canyon House are good GF brands
- instead of drive-thru cheeseburgers, buy some grass-fed beef and make your own
- try a burger-in-a-bowl with some homemade oven fries
- try making banana “nice cream” for dessert
little Davis having some banana “ice cream”
Tip # 7: If they are older than 2, explain to them why you are changing their diet.
When my middle son, Ridge, was going through an elimination diet to heal his eczema, he was almost 2. He was still little enough to realize that he didn’t have much of a say in his meals, but old enough to talk to about it. We started telling him that eating this way would help his skin get better. We kept the reasoning very simple. As he got older, we told him about gluten and dairy and helped him learn to identify which foods have those, and why he can’t eat them. Now that he is 4, he knows to ask if something has gluten and dairy. We have also explained to our older boys about artificial food dyes, and how vegetables help keep us from getting sick. They are aware of why they take vitamins, and we’ve taught them about how they can have sugar in moderation.
He was our “why.” Improving his gut health became a top priority, and it improved our wellness and eating overall as a family.
Get on your child’s level, but also remember that they’re usually smarter than we give them credit for!
Tip # 8: Include your kids in the kitchen and with food shopping. Let them look through cookbooks to help pick new recipes to try.
When we let our kids help in the kitchen by chopping fruits and veggies, they are more inclined to eat them. I bought some of these plastic knives so that my boys can help, and they’ve enjoyed being involved. We balance out their involvement with baking cookies or pancakes some days, and veggie chopping other days.
Peak their curiosity and as they learn about new foods, they might be more willing to try them:
- Take your kids with you to a farmers market
- Teach them to garden
- Get them involved when picking out produce
- Teach them about each of the vegetables
- They are used to seeing them chopped up and cooked or prepared, but it helps to see the fruits and vegetables in their natural state.
- Leave a cookbook out on the counter
- Allow them to become intrigued by beautiful food photos
- Suggest that they put a post it note in some of the pages of recipes they’d like to try.
A couple of my recent favorites: The Defined Dish; Plant Over Processed
Tip # 9: Give them options between a couple new foods
If you want your kids to try something new, offer a couple of options, and let them have the power to decide which new food they want to try. This allows them to feel in control of the situation, but also encourages them to branch out.
Tip # 10: Cook or prepare the healthy foods they like in new ways.
If they enjoy chicken, try cooking it different ways. If they love berries, try offering them in oatmeal, as a snack, and in a smoothie. Another example is to try adding spinach to a smoothie and also in scrambled eggs. This allows them to learn to like different textures, cooking techniques, and flavors. It also shows them that healthy foods can be incorporated into meals in many different ways. Also, try incorporating plenty of herbs and spices (aka, flavor!) into your meals.
Tip # 11: Snacks must be something nutritious.
Davis used to eat lunch really early at school, so we would let him have a snack when he got home. I try to keep things around that the boys like, such as berries washed, banana or apple with almond butter, paleo turkey sticks (from Thrive market), nuts with dried fruit.
It helps to put it out for them, and not make a big deal of it. Cutting some fruit or veggies and putting them out with a dip or maybe a fun snack plate can entice the kids to eat. Making it visually appealing always helps!
Tip # 12: Make healthy food more fun.
Build a colorful snack tray, and encourage your kids to try one thing of every color. Try a variety of dips, so that they can taste new flavor combinations. Sometimes the simple act of sharing a tray of food, rather than eating off of individual plates, is the ticket to upping your child’s veggie intake.
Tip # 13: Cut out the candy, cut back on sugar.
The thing about sugar is that it is addictive, and the more we eat it, the more we crave it. It’s pretty impossible to want to eat veggies if our body is telling us it wants or needs sugar. I let my kids have candy on Halloween and special holidays, but it is not a regular part of their diet. We do sweet treats sometimes, especially homemade ones, but no candy.
Gotta have a sweet treat on your birthday, right!
I know that was a lot of information. Every kid is different, and everyone learns to like new things and make healthy changes at a different pace. 2020 was the year that my kids, especially our oldest, learned to love salads. He turned 8 this year, and we have truly turned a corner in how he eats! Give it time, because your kids can learn to like more foods! With some patience, persistence, and maybe a bribe ;), or at least a balancing act, every now and then, you can get a positive change!
Very helpful Lindsay!