A significant portion of my blog is about healing through food and diet changes, especially as it relates to eczema. Well today, I have a special guest. My husband, Todd, is taking over SevenLayerCharlotte! Let me just say, he is a true gem, and one in a million. I’m not sure what I would do without him, and I’m so thankful to have him as my parenting teammate and best friend. Though he wasn’t all-in on the functional medicine approach to healing as quickly as I was, he is fully supportive now, and it has made a world of difference! Here is a dad’s take on an elimination diet, and how it can help with healing eczema.
Todd’s Take
His Reaction to Food Elimination
Today I hijacked my lovely wife’s platform to share some of my own thoughts. First of all, for those of you that usually read Lindsay’s blog & follow her on IG, you guys can pass this along to the men in your life. Most of what I am going to say will probably not be new to you, but may be new information to your husband.
It’s funny, if you ask any dad if they would “take a bullet” for their children, they automatically say they would. And they absolutely mean it. We are hard-wired to be protectors of our families. But what if the children of these same Dads are tormented by eczema and their wife asked them to give up their favorite snack or dessert? Or red meat? Or fried food? Or eat gluten & dairy free? The response is usually much less enthusiastic. Why is this the case? Why are we typically so unwilling to change our eating habits? There are obviously plenty of reasons that we give:
“I don’t have the issue, why should I change?” (Do you think it will be easier for your family to make a change if they see you doing it?)
“How do we know this will work?” (You don’t but it isn’t worth a shot?)
“But I don’t like such & such food.” (Come on, man. You will learn to like it. Or maybe you could offer to learn to cook it in a way that the family will like it?)
“I work hard, I should be able to eat what I like.” (Get over yourself ☺)
I am also sure there is sociological research to correlate certain foods with masculinity (the “whole meat and potatoes” thing). But that is not what this is about. This is about us men stepping up and being an example for our kids.
Truth be told, I am as guilty as anyone in this arena. I am going to give you a few examples of this. Over 2 years ago, our now 4yr old was suffering from eczema. Like some of you, we tried the typical approaches. Creams, ointments, prescriptions, etc. Nothing worked, and he continued to get worse instead of improving. That’s when we decided to try a holistic approach and visited Dr. Temple. Now, when I say, “we decided” what I really mean was that Lindsay decided and I skeptically followed along. After a series of tests, we had a list of foods that we were going to cut out of his diet.
This part was not easy. He was 2 years old. He didn’t understand why he could no longer have goldfish crackers, cheese, or regular toast. Our older son, who was 6 at the time, also didn’t love that his choices of meals & snacks were narrowed. I was skeptical of this approach, too.
How did I know it would work?
For how long are we going to try this?
Why do we think this will work better than the medicines we tried?
Getting to the Root of the Problem
Now, I liked the quick answer. A cream or prescription for him was perfect solution in my mind. I could “check the box” that we handled the problem. I think most of us guys feel that way. Changing his diet was much more ambiguous, unknown, and potentially unproven. But, we committed to it.
It only took a few months to start to see results. After 6 months his eczema went away completely. It’s been 2 years since then and we have been slowly able to add foods back into his diet. He is still gluten and dairy free except for the occasional slip up, and now our family is completely used to eating with these restrictions. My older son and I now have regular cheese in the house, and sometimes regular bread. But mostly adhering to our middle son’s eating restriction is just a part of our family routine now…and it is completely worth it.
Dads Taking the Lead
If you are like me, in this last year you have suddenly been thrust into your daily home life like never before. Instead of being out of the house from 8-5 (or more likely 7pm – 7pm), we are now home. Basically all day, every day.
I believe that all of us should be asking what will be different for us, as a family and as individuals. More specifically, what will be different in regards to taking care of our health? Because fellas, I hate to tell you…but we are usually pretty crappy when it comes to taking care of our families’ health. I can only speak for myself (but I believe I speak for the majority), but I have always lagged behind my wife’s lead in caring for the health of my family. For some reason, I think dads feel like we have a pass.
Let’s take a look at what’s going on in our world right now. While it is impossible to completely protect ourselves from contracting this virus (or any virus), a strong immune system is our best defense. So why are we (as dads) the first ones to derail our wives’ attempt at building strong immunity in our kids?
Why do we make negative comments about vegetables in front of our kids?
Why is “dad’s night” pizza and ice cream?
Why do we rush to suppress our kid’s fever with Tylenol so “that everyone will sleep better?”
Why do we say things like “I grew up eating that, and I am fine?”
It was easy to make an excuse when we were out of the house 5 days a week. But now we are in our homes the majority of the time, because of a major health crisis. It is time that we start sharing the lead with our spouse in making the health of our families a priority.
Even before the c*vid era, chronic diseases had started to plague children more than ever in this country. Though it is not the only culprit, the food that they eat can have a huge impact on how well our children’s immune system can fight those diseases. Yes, modern medicine can be a part of the solution. But why do we automatically think prescription as the first treatment option, or as the only treatment option? Shouldn’t we want to help our child’s immune system be as strong as it can be to fight hand in hand with a modern medicine approach, or perhaps even heal itself without a prescription?
It may sound simple or obvious, but our children solely rely on us for the food they eat. They are not able to research what is the healthiest option for their particular situation. Our kids are not able to run to the farmers market, or grocery store and purchase those foods for themselves. They are completely dependent on us to take the responsibility for these choices. As obvious as that is, it can be a pretty overwhelming responsibility! Especially when you factor in the impact those foods can have on your child’s health.
Now for some truth that may be difficult to digest: if you are like most husbands, your wife has shouldered the majority of this responsibility. Sure, you have a job that contributes to the food budget, you occasionally grill, make breakfast and school lunches. But how invested are you truly in what your family eats? Even more than that, how willing have you been to change your own diet for the sake of your family?
Where We Are Now
It’s Lindsay again. Thanks to my husband for taking the time to write this and share his heart when it comes to healing from the inside out, and how it is worth it to make the food changes. This is our story, but it seems to be the common theme among many families that I chat with in our eczema transformation group, and also with mom friends.
Todd and I believe that this healing approach needs to be done as a team. It is so much more effective to have the entire family on board. We talk through supplements and food ideas. At the beginning of our food changes, I had a really hard time. Honestly planning meals gave me a lot of anxiety, because the restrictions felt overwhelming at times. Todd helped me by putting together a chart to keep on the door of the pantry. It was a list of what Ridge could eat all the time, what he could eat only once a day (such as high-histamine foods), and what he could never eat. This gesture may not have felt big to Todd, but it took a lot of weight off of my shoulders, and helped me understand that he was with me on this journey.
I try to meet my guys in the middle, and appeal to what they enjoy eating, but from a healthier approach. We all understand that the better we eat, the better we feel, but we also enjoy our meals. Family dinners are a huge priority for us, because we are doing this together. Though the rest of us may not have had eczema, eating this way has helped each one of us. Todd’s Fall allergies were markedly better this year while eating GF and DF, and Davis and I haven’t been sick in a really long time. And as he said, it is worth it!
If you have a husband or dad or grandparent, etc, who may not be on board with your eating changes, try sending this post to him. Hearing from a fellow man might help!
More Information About Eczema
If you are looking for more information about eczema, please check out the Eczema Transformation course that I help Dr. Temple with, as well as the following blog posts from she and I:
The Eczema and Sugar Connection
Why We Chose Functional Medicine and a Holistic Approach to Healing Eczema
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