I was recently chatting with some of the other moms in the eczema transformation course that I help Dr. Temple with, and I realized I started to get a bit preachy. You see, I have been there and I get it. I know what it is like to have a child with leaky gut syndrome, eczema, and moodiness. My husband and I have lived it, and are still living with aspects of it. We know what it is like to overhaul our diets, and make drastic changes in order to heal. In this post, I wanted to share some advice that I wish I could have told myself back when we were working on healing our son’s eczema. So here is my message, from one mom to another!

 

Big Picture Perspective

The type of healing that we believe in is from-the-inside-out, root-cause, functional-medicine approach. Healing a leaky gut, which in turn helps heal eczema, is not always a straightforward path. There will be bumps in the road, some skin flares, and it will take time. The goal with this type of healing is to gain long-term wellness, rather than relying on a quick fix. With this approach comes the necessity to have a big picture perspective. Are we healing the skin itchiness overnight with Benadryl or a topical steroid? No, not always. But are we working on repairing the gut that has become permeable and lowering overall inflammation, which will in turn have positive future health results? Yes!

As moms we can become wrapped up in the details. I believe it is often in our DNA as women. We are a detail-oriented bunch, and we love when we can put that check-mark next to a to do list item. Unfortunately, healing our little ones of excess inflammation requires a big picture perspective and an understanding that this will take time. We will not be able to put that check mark beside this to-do item, and we certainly will not be able to control every aspect of healing. The goal is to do our very best and set our kids up for success with their health.

In taking this approach, we are lowering their sugar intake, decreasing processed food consumption in our households, and teaching our families to love vegetables, fruits, and real, whole foods. We are incorporating more natural vitamins and minerals, boosting their immune systems with these foods and supplements, and helping their bodies ward off infection. Not only are we working to heal their eczema, but we are also amping up their bodies’ defenses, which will help them long-term.

It can be easy to get lost in what we see right in front of us. If healing does not occur immediately, discouragement can set in. Feeling that way is completely understandable and natural, but if we maintain a big picture perspective, we are more likely to stay the course!

90/10 Philosophy

I am a self-professed health nut. Even before my son was dealing with eczema, I had fallen in love with wellness and taking care of myself. However, I like to approach wellness with a 90/10 philosophy, and I have the same outlook when it comes to my kids. Some things, like gluten and dairy, need to be all or nothing. I personally feel the same way about artificial food dyes. Ridge and I, and consequently Granger because of breastfeeding, are 100% gluten free and (cows milk) dairy free, because those allergens take weeks to be completely removed from our systems after ingesting them. But we do have some processed foods, some desserts, and some convenience foods in our house.

In motherhood, there must be grace. Stress ABSOLUTELY affects healing, and if we are constantly on edge about what our children are eating, our homes will not have a good environment to heal. Preaching to the choir here! If we aim to provide 90% clean meals for our family, it is okay to have 10% convenience or processed foods. Or you can use that 10% for birthday treats or holiday celebrations! Some Friday nights call for ordering a gluten free pizza. The way to balance that out is to plan ahead, and have homemade or at least clean, healthy food the rest of the weekend.

Now please do not misunderstand my message. I am still not saying it is okay to go through the McDonald’s drive through for that 10%! Eek, I know, I know. It is hard – really hard. What I am saying is that it is perfectly fine to allow some processed foods into our lives, as long as they only have a handful of ingredients. If the label is full of things we do not understand, pass and find a healthier alternative. We cannot expect to never have chips or crackers or frozen chicken nuggets or store-bought bread again! We just have to work on finding the healthier versions of them. I have lists in previous blog posts here and here with some brands to look for.

This lifestyle requires commitment. Trust me, I get it. But it is worth it!

 

The Mundane Matters

If you’re in the middle of this journey, I hope you feel seen and understood. Do you ever feel like all you do all day is make food, only for your kids to complain or throw it on the floor, then you do the dishes, then you wipe some bottoms or change some diapers, then do some laundry, then do it all over again at the next meal time? Do you feel like a broken record discussing your approach to healing to your child/in-law/husband? Does it feel like the grocery store is your only outing and largest bill? Is your Pinterest full of GF, DF meal ideas for kids? Does it feel like a part time job to keep up with supplements? Do you and your husband have endless conversations about skin, constipation, and temper tantrums?

Same here. I feel ya, friend.

I was thinking recently how the mundane matters. Those tedious chores that seem to steal our brain cells MATTER. While our kids are little, and especially if they’re healing from a systemic issue like eczema, repetition and hard days are to be expected. Some days it feels like we are on a hamster wheel and we just cannot stop running. We get bogged down in these daily chores, and long for a tropical vacation where someone brings us a fruity drink and we can lounge by the ocean with a juicy beach read.

I’m here to encourage you to keep at it! If I was giving advice to myself a couple years ago, when we were at the height of Ridge’s eczema, I would tell myself not to stop and not to get too discouraged. Those panicky times standing in the pantry wondering what the heck I was going to feed my family that could fit into the dietary restrictions would pass, and the work would be worth it! Mom life is far from glamorous. (I’m not excluding dads here, because I know they do a lot! My husband is the greatest teammate! But this post is a message for the moms). But the nitty gritty, gross, seemingly insignificant daily tasks of mom life make a difference!

Our kids rely on us to survive. We are the only ones who can truly help their health. As my husband said in his post here, our kids aren’t able to go to the grocery store, make food decisions, prepare their own meals, or research what would make them feel better or clear their skin. They rely on us to do those things for them, and what feels mundane to us actually makes a world of difference to them. So keep going, mama!

Healing eczema is not a linear process, and it can differ for everyone. Some kids heal more quickly than others. The days can feel extra long when you’re doing so much work and your child is still not better. But hang in there, moms! The work is worth it!

If you’d like more information about the eczema transformation course, click here.

To read my husband’s perspective, read this post. Dr. Temple’s husband, Dr. John Temple, also wrote a great post about how it is different for a man to change his diet, and what it was like for him personally.